Alchemy of a touch

‘This is not the Indian way,’ is how most Indian men/women dismiss the lack of expression of affection or physical intimacy, but it is something most partners appear to crave for. While an average Indian partner (especially those from the smaller towns) are shy about any public display of physical affection from her spouse, he/she certainly hankers for it from the partner in private, and that too, separate from any sexual activity.

Experts say female desire depends more on the context of a relationship. Much more depends on her mood, energy level, good feelings and absence of conflict and an element of romance than a direct physiological response to touch. Women don’t want their lack of interest to be interpreted as rejection.

Partners should not keep a scorecard on how often their partner responds. This kind of pressure and guilt isn’t helpful. A minority of women feel frustrated when their husbands don’t show interest in love-making or affection.... and same's true vice-versa.. It is a challenge to their sexuality and frustrates to their own need to feel loved, desired or attractive in their partner’s eyes.

You may be single at this time..Well, I am.....Being single doesn’t mean that you don’t need touching and physical closeness in your daily life. Especially if you have recently ended a relationship, you may be missing the hugs, kisses, embraces and handholding that you once had. Your life and the world do not stop because you’re not currently in a loving relationship-neither does your need for physical closeness and touching. The art of touching encompasses non-sexual as well as sexual touch. It’s equally important, whether you are single or in a relationship, to get your daily allowance of touching. Demonstrating physical closeness with family and friends is one way to elevate your mood, allowing you to feel loved and fulfilled, while giving love to others.


If you are in a relationship, both sexual and non-sexual touches are important. During the euphoric stage of a relationship, sexual touch predominates. You can’t keep your hands off of each other. When mature love begins, non-sexual touch becomes more important, as touch takes on an additional meaning. While sexual touch can communicate sexual feelings, non-sexual touch can simply communicate your love, care, and affection for one another. Physical closeness and touching stimulates the continued growth of your loving relationships. If your partner is tired and interprets your touch as a desire for sex, it may result in your partner pulling away from you-which may leave you feeling rejected. If your partner frequently thinks that you want to have sex, when in fact you don’t, he or she could develop performance anxiety. Experts say it is not uncommon for one partner to need more physical connection than the other. Its very normal: we are all different, with different backgrounds, experiences, and needs.
The practice of touching one another daily reinforces and strengthens your relationship. It is the conduit between two individuals that allows them to connect as one.

Be happy by Loving Detachment

Simply put, happiness is satisfaction of mind. However, different individuals have different perceptions of how to achieve happiness. For some, happiness lies in wealth; for others, it is in rank and position; yet others find happiness in fame and name. Commonly, happiness is measured by achievement in terms of money, property, other material possessions, power, name, fame, education, lifestyle, position and social status.

In their quest for 'happiness' individuals tread a path that destroys the inner good instincts and virtues. Craving for material wealth begets greed and greed leads to corruption. Similar is the outcome when passion for power drives one's mind.

Life is not permanent; nothing in life can last forever. Saints and sages have realised this truth and lived away from pursuit of mundane objects and worldliness. But ordinary people fail to see this truth. Maya impels individuals to believe that material achievement is the truth of life; and, in the process, it fuels attachment to worldly pursuits and sensory pleasures. Growing attachment breeds addiction to material attainments. In turn, such addiction intoxicates the human mind, making it oblivious to the truth. So real happiness remains a mirage.

Mahasiddha Naropa, the tenth century mahasiddha of the Kagya School of Tibetan Buddhism, was born in a rich and powerful family. He renounced his family and wealth at the age of 25 to be ordained as a monk-scholar in Nalanda University where he became a leading scholar and respected faculty member. He later left in search of a guru to attain moksha and found Tilopa, who was one of the four mahasiddhas of India.

Once Tilopa handed a string full of knots to Naropa and asked him to untie them. Naropa did so and gave the string back to Tilopa. Tilopa threw the string away and asked Naropa what he understood. Naropa replied that all beings are tied by worldly attachments and they need to untie themselves.

Dispassion for attachment to material pleasures and comforts restrains one's desires, dispels worries and fears and guides us to the path of peace and tranquillity. To be dispassionate, you need to search your heart everyday and practise untying your passion for mundane matters. An individual who meticulously endeavours to get rid of expectations, hopes and fears can set the mind at rest and reach a stage of detachment from worldly pleasures.

This, however, cannot be achieved overnight. This change needs preparation of the mind and takes time. It is a practice that an individual needs to pursue for "being in the world but not of it". You should have a mind open to everything but attached to nothing. This does not mean that you have to run away from your family, society, duties and responsibilities and be less sensitive. One needs to recognise the Divine in others and work to serve the Divine.

Some may argue that the incentive behind every work is gain, without which an individual will not be motivated to work. Then how will the detachment happen? The gain is realisation of what is Eternal and the alleviation of material suffering following from this realisation. Sri Guru Granth Sahib says: "As the lotus flower floats unaffected in the water, so should one remain detached in one's own household". The lotus flower is not tainted by the slime in which it grows. It is an attitude that an individual needs to develop through belief and practice; and only this can emancipate one from worldly attachments to derive pure happiness.

Our insatiable appetite

Once a messenger walking past a tree heard a voice say: "Will you accept seven jars full of gold?" The messenger looked around, but could see no one. The offer was too good to refuse, so he cried aloud: "Yes, I shall accept the seven jars." At once the voice replied: "Go home, I have carried the jars to your house."

The messenger ran home and when he entered the house he saw the jars and found that except one all the jars were brimming with gold coins. But why was the seventh jar empty? He became obsessed with the desire to fill the seventh jar also, for otherwise, his happiness would be incomplete. So he converted all his ornaments into gold coins and put them in the seventh jar but the mysterious vessel was, as before, empty.

Exasperated, the messenger starved himself and his family, saved more money and tried to fill the jar, but it remained as unfulfilled as before. He requested the king for a pay-hike. His salary was doubled. He saved more and into the jar his savings went but the greedy jar showed no sign of filling up. Begging, cheating, stealing, he acquired more gold that went into the insatiable cavity of the jar. Still, the jar remained unfulfilled.

Seeing his plight the king asked him: "When your pay was half of what you get now, you were happy, cheerful and contented, but with double that pay, I see you morose, care-worn and dejected. What is the matter? Have you got the seven jars?" Taken aback by this question, the messenger confessed to the king.

The king said, "Don't you know what happens to the person to whom the Yaksha consigns the seven jars? He offered me also the same jars, but I asked him whether this money might be spent or was merely to be hoarded. No sooner had I asked this question than the Yaksha disappeared."

The king advised the messenger to return the jars to the Yaksha. So the messenger returned to the haunted tree and said: "Take back your gold, O Yaksha." When he went home he found that the seven jars had vanished as mysteriously as they had appeared. And with it had also vanished his life's savings.

Ignorance breeds desire and desire prompts us to actions, good and bad. Good actions bring punya , making us eligible for enjoyable experiences. Bad actions cause paap or sin, subjecting us to suffering and sorrow. Both, however, are bondages of the jiva and cause us repeated birth and death, with enjoyments and sufferings intermingled according to our deeds.

To overcome ignorance and desire the Gita propounds the doctrine of Nishkama-karma — work without desire for the fruits of action. When there is total surrender and work is done without desire, we receive God's grace.

Desires arise from illusion and ignorance. Philosophers have pointed out that the problem of illusion coexists with a state of ignorance. But when we are illumined, the ignorance vanishes. If one were to honestly report the experiences of the world, one would say, "All these things are mere shadows." Swami Vivekananda once wrote in a letter, "Everything in the Universe appears to me now like pictures hanging on the walls of a room."

To a person who has attained to that state, the entire universe is a two-dimensional affair; there is no concrete reality. Just shadows. And even these, after a time, become obliterated. So desire nothing but God. Work honestly, without desire. This world is good so far as it helps one access the higher world. Otherwise, all ends in illusion and ignorance.

Managing your desire

There are some people who do little, but make others do a lot. Brahman, the pure Consciousness, too, is actionless — but in Its presence, everything else works.

Observe an infant. It does little other than kick about, cry and laugh but it spurs everybody into willing action. The mere presence of an infant brings joy. What makes a baby so lovable, a source of joy for all?

The answer is simple but profound — a baby is free of desires. It has biological needs like hunger and thirst, but, other than that, a baby has no desires. Its eyes reflect its state of freedom from desires. The great scriptural texts have exalted the state of desirelessness as the ultimate state. Besides babies, only one other kind of being has eyes that reflect total desirelessness: The realised person.

Man begins his life without desire (as an infant), goes through life's tribulations, and eventually, through spiritual evolution, once again becomes free of desires as a man of realisation. Every now and then, new (limited) aspects of life are brought under the purview of 'management'.

However, all these areas, though individually useful, are not the whole of it. Study of the limited aspects without an understanding of the whole is not enough. A man who was stressed out at work attended a time management seminar. It proved effective, he got his work done much faster and found he had free time... but he didn't know what to do with it. Holistic life management is important to make the particular aspects more meaningful and fruitful.

The first aspect of life management is desire management. Desire per se is neither trouble nor a cause of bondage. But when it increases in quantity and decreases in quality to unmanageable levels, it can destroy us. The scriptures divide life into four stages and at each stage there are specific rules to be followed.

The foundation for brahmacharya ashrama or student life is discipline. Without discipline, neither study nor a successful life is possible. Discipline in this stage prepares you for living that knowledge later.

The cornerstone of grihastha ashrama or householder's life is the spirit of service. We have a limited or distorted view of service — we think only of 'acts' of service, not the 'spirit'.

Service is not an 'act' but an 'attitude'. Mahatma Gandhi said that there is not a single moment in life when one cannot serve. We can serve even with just a loving look or a consoling pat. The readiness to serve at all times, just for the joy of giving, should be the hallmark of a grihastha.

Vanaprastha ashrama or spiritual life signifies retirement from worldly things but commitment to deeper spiritual pursuits. Self-enquiry is the foundation of this stage in an atmosphere of tapas or austerity.

Sanyasa ashrama or renunciation is the giving up of all likes, dislikes, desires and ego. One can be totally free of desires only when one is full within. You might have noticed an interesting connection between one's heart and stomach.

When the heart is full, so seems the stomach too. When people are very happy or thrilled about something, they don't notice hunger — often even for hours. Complete freedom from desire adorns a sanyasi only because of his constant abidance in the Self. His is a life of total renunciation, other than the bare needs for survival.

If each stage of life is lived by its founding principle, desire management will be spontaneous. We move through discipline, spirit of service and self-enquiry to abidance in the Self, and achieve the transcending of desire to reach the state of desirelessness

Know your true worth

We constantly confuse worth with usefulness. Witness the way we treat the old - no longer do we seek to benefit from their wisdom and experience.

A carpenter and his apprentice were walking through a large forest. They came across an old oak tree. The carpenter asked his apprentice: "Do you know why this tree is so tall, so huge, so gnarled and beautiful?" The apprentice looked at his master and said: "No... Why?"

"Because it is useless", answered the carpenter. "If it had been useful it would have been cut long ago and made into tables and chairs, but because it is useless it could grow so tall and beautiful and you can sit in its shade and relax".

We constantly confuse worth with usefulness. And sometimes usefulness is defined in the narrowest of terms. Witness the way we treat the old and the economically unproductive. No longer do we seek to benefit from their wisdom and experience.

When I was walking in a public garden one morning, an 80-year-old woman was ambling along. She and her husband were alone, she said, living out their lives. They were "useless". She talked to me about how living was a grace and how we needed this divine grace to live our lives from moment to moment. She was living that message.

I wondered about the number of harried, hectic, productive, "useful" people who had identified their worth with the numbers, statistics, and concrete results they could deliver, the societal praise and adulation, and I realised how much wisdom there was in the message of this old woman. She was old in years, but young at heart. She knew that for every step she took in the garden and the fact that she did not slip on the slithery ground after the rains, she was dependent on grace.

When I meet the old sitting inside church compounds — who are apparently just preparing for their end by praying at the grotto and giving each other support — it would seem their "usefulness" to society is over.

But, when I talk to them, I discover such reserves of courage, resourcefulness, contentment, the freedom over exterior power and domination, the lack of the need to impress and the ability to listen to others and provide shade and sustenance, that it makes me realise the message of the simple Tao story: "Our worth is not the same as our usefulness".

Similarly, I have learned the same lesson from the physically and mentally challenged and the ill that would make them seem nothing but a burden to society. What they taught me was to rediscover my lost humanity.

We talk about a society with a "human face". Yet most of the underlying premises of our society, our jobs, our environment, our social groups is based on equating worth with "usefulness". We write off those who perhaps have no visible "worth" — that too, often described in physical, economic or narrowly utilitarian terms.

There is also a subtle difference between "usefulness" and "using others". Often a person's worth to others is judged in terms of that person's ability and willingness to be used by others. Sometimes, even for manipulative ends.

Yes, we should be useful, but not in the sense that we are wont often to define the term. We should work hard, but not be destroyed by the lack of results. What we have is the fellowship of the strong and the able. What we need also to develop is the fellowship of the weak and the disabled, who are often more transparent and open and from whom we can learn.

Most people are defending their "usefulness" for as long as they can. Instead, if they learned to share their "uselessness" they would, like the beautiful oak tree that — though gnarled and old — is beautiful, providing shade and sustenance to others.

I Love myself

What is conventionally called 'love' is an ego strategy to avoid surrender. You are looking to someone to give you that which can only come to you in the state of surrender. The ego uses that person as a substitute to avoid having to surrender. The Spanish language is the most honest in this respect. It uses the same verb, te quiero, for 'I love you' and 'I want you'. To the ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess or for your partner to change. The ego singles someone out and makes them special. It uses that person to cover up the constant underlying feeling of discontent, of 'not enough', of anger and hate, which are closely related. These are facets of an underlying deep-seated feeling in human beings that is inseparable from the egoic state.

When the ego singles something out and says I love this or that, it's an unconscious attempt to cover up or remove the deep-seated feelings that always accompany the ego: the discontent, the unhappiness, the sense of insufficiency that is so familiar. For a little while, the illusion actually works. Then inevitably, at some point, the person you singled out, or made special in your eyes, fails to function as a cover up for your pain, hate, discontent or unhappiness — all of which have their origin in that sense of insufficiency and incompleteness. Then out comes the feeling that was covered up, and it gets projected onto the person that had been singled out and made special who you thought would ultimately 'save' you. Suddenly love turns to hate. The ego doesn't realise that the hatred is a projection of the universal pain that you feel inside. The ego believes that this person is causing the pain. It doesn't realise that the pain is the universal feeling of not being connected with the deeper level of your being — not being at one with yourself.

The object of love is interchangeable, as interchangeable as the object of egoic wanting. Some people go through many relationships. They fall in love and out of love many times. They love a person for a while until it doesn't work anymore, because no person can permanently cover up that pain.

Only surrender can give you what you were looking for in the object of your love. The ego says surrender is not necessary because I love this person. It's an unconscious process of course. The moment you accept completely what is, something inside you emerges that had been covered up by egoic wanting. It is an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, 'aliveness'. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself. When that happens, a completely different kind of love is present which is not subject to love or hate. It doesn't single out one thing or person as special. It's absurd to even use the same word for it. Now it can happen that even in a normal love-hate relationship, occasionally, you enter the state of surrender. Temporarily, briefly, it happens: you experience a deeper universal love and a complete acceptance that can sometimes shine through, even in an otherwise egoic relationship. If surrender is not sustained, however, it gets covered up again with the old egoic patterns. I'm not saying that the deeper, true love cannot be present occasionally, even in a normal love-hate relationship. But it is rare and usually short-lived.


Whenever you accept what is, something deeper emerges than what is. You can be trapped in the most painful dilemma, external or internal, the most painful feelings or situation — and the moment you accept what is, you go beyond it, you transcend it.

Even if you feel hatred, the moment you accept that this is what you feel, you transcend it. It may still be there, but suddenly you are at a deeper place where it doesn't matter that much anymore.

The entire phenomenal universe exists because of the tension between the opposites. Hot and cold, growth and decay, gain and loss, success and failure — the polarities that are part of existence, and of course part of every relationship. Transcend these polarities through surrender. You will then be in touch with a deeper place within yourself where love and compassion will arise.

(Eckhart Tolle is the author of The Power Of Now)

Journey to Immortality

The enormity of death is felt by people when they lose someone close to them. Knowledge and spirituality are often the light at the end of the tunnel in such moments of sadness. A human being who has died, is like a torch extinguished.

However, the flame of his life burns in his children, friends, work, and in his ideas. He has enriched the earth on which he has walked, the rivers in which he has bathed, and the living beings with whom he has been in communion.

According to the Upanishads , death marks the end of a commerce with life, a transmission of all a person has received and the completion of a journey. What is important and what the world remembers is how well one has lived this journey.

Not every man attains immortality . Spiritual growth separates the immortal from the mortal. The asu or life-principle, the power of life or vital strength, is considered by some traditions to be ahamkara , the selfish ego of unfulfilled desires and unachieved projects. This ego is impure; it consists of unburnt karmas; it is afraid of death, because it must certainly die. There is, on the other hand, the personal atman , that spark of the paramatman , which does not die.

The Katha Upanishad enunciates the essence of death, the Great Departure or Mahaprasthana . The temporal world is not everything, human life is not exhausted in space and time and the person is not totally dissolved into his constituent elements. In other words, there is another world.

The other world is intimately connected with this world. Human life on earth conditions the other world. The last rites for the dead, blessings for their journey, and the climactic moment of death are important — they condition the new form of human existence and open the gates to the other world.

The Great Departure , according to the Upanishads , is not to another parallel, superior, or inferior world — it is a departure from the human condition itself. We discard our spatio-temporal, corporeal trappings and move to the other ‘shore’, suggestive of the existence of another realm. Brahma - nirvana has no shores. They are visible, as a mirage, only from this side.

The Upanishads do not place the other world outside this life. The difference between real, liberated life, and the unauthentic existence of the life of the senses or the body, is so radical that the former could be immanent in the latter. The atman is so different from and so superior to the body that it does not rest on or depend upon the body — as is forcefully affirmed in expressions like ‘the world is a great illusion’.

Death, therefore, is not seen as an end ; it is a gate. Samsara is not the cosmos; it is the world in its dynamic and evolutionary aspect. It implies both change and continuity; it is a cyclical process of all the elements of this world. Together with the idea of karma, the notion of samsara suggests the contingency of all things, their inter-relationship, and the dynamic nature of all the elements of the empirical world. The universality of death gives it a superhuman and quasi-divine status.

Through death, immortality is achieved. Immortality is not deathlessness, the mere continuation of a given earthly and temporal condition; it is the overcoming of death, passing through it and reaching the other shore, a shore that can exist only because the river of death lies between it and life. Death is the very condition of authentic life; it is the door to the realm where man can fully be what he ultimately is.

As the Bhagavad Gita says: ‘‘Death is certain for all that is born / and birth for all that dies/ therefore for what is unavoidable/ you should not be distressed’’ . (II.27)

Life is too precious to be squandered

This morning, work took me to a place where little children and old people were lying on the floor — an unreal heat, an unreal poverty, but very real people. Three little children like little broken Christs or broken Krishnas (I couldn’t tell their religion) condemned to a life that the old around them were probably waiting to end.

And this evening as I stood in the Fire Temple, I wondered, would they ever know the privilege of finishing a good day with a good bath and a good hour of worship? All prosperity, like all joy, is a gift of God. But people take these blessings for granted. Worse, they squander them throughout their lives. You don’t know when life will end; yet, you are unwilling to live life truthfully, in the company of God. You have God’s blessings — you have a home, a happy heart, health.

From the Torah down to every other holy book, a way of life has been prescribed — not just a way of life, but the way of life, for, ultimately, there is only one way. But not everyone prays every day. I would really like to know, how many adults even thank the elements — Earth, Water, Air, Fire — or the Provider?

If you are one of the blessed, ask yourself, are you leading your life the way God would want you to? Your heart will give you the answer in a second. If you were one of those for whom a kitchen sink, leave alone a kitchen, is an unattainable luxury, what would you be doing with your life? Pretty much nothing.

Poverty, illiteracy and misery are iron chains. Forget doing something, you can’t even dream. Even a day is far from being perfect. But for the rest of us life is near perfect, we have more than we need to have. But does this stir or inspire you to take that leap towards a perfect life? If you don’t begin today, then when will you begin? Are you allowing your life to fool you? Your mind will play tricks, it will let you believe what you want, but when you go to your heart it will tell you what an illness, tragedy, upheaval usually does — it will tell you that you aren’t happy.

There is an abnormal amount of apathy towards real living. What a waste of life! All the small things have become attractive, the big things are cast aside, as if they belong only to the scriptures or some forgotten time when people worshipped a God who gave openly. You have it all but you squander it all.

Worse, you hanker after things that are transitory; things which won’t last. In our cities, people’s lifestyles have become like a gravy that has congealed. It makes me physically ill. The definition of what works for those following this sick lifestyle is so much at variance with that of those aspiring to a life lived by God’s definition. I am unable to be around people or places where the beauty of blessings — and their benevolent Provider — is not present, or welcome.

I have an inner reluctance towards anything that departs from the simple and special things of life. I am compelled to withdraw. Never mind who or what it might be — if he/it doesn’t put a gleam in God’s eye, he/it is mere dust. From dust, of dust, belonging to dust.

Success is no measure, because these days just about anything is successful. Neither is happiness a measure, because these days even the most twisted things make people happy. Things are far from being perfect.

Therefore, sometimes you do go down; but at least, go down fighting for what is right. And, for what is really lasting.

In search of "Real Me"

"Hey, I'm in Nirvana!" We talk like this when we feel good. But what is it like to actually attain nirvana, otherwise known as moksha or self-realisation?

Self-realisation is the goal of life. Vedic rishis found that everything in the world that blooms is also subject to ultimate decay. Are we here just to live a brief life and then pass away? They reasoned that life cannot be devoid of some higher purpose.

After much investigation and contemplation and many generations later, sages declared that beneath this mortal body is an unseen immortal spirit - and that spirit is our real Self.
That eternal spirit in the non-eternal body; that imperishable in the perishable body is actually a part of a vast infinite, eternal, beginning-less, endless, cosmic spirit. It exists. But not as an inert piece. It is consciousness. It knows – I exist. So it is conscious existence. Existence is sat. Consciousness is chit. So it is sat-chit.

In this state of pure sat-chit consciousness, we are subjected to many imperfect experiences - heat and cold, pleasure and pain. All these disruptive mortal experiences cannot upset that lofty, sublime, transcendental realm of the real Self, for once the state of pure consciousness has been achieved, only peace and bliss abide.

There is ananda in that sat-chit. So it is sat-chit-ananda or state of eternal existence. To realise and enter this state is called self-realisation.

Self-realisation is the goal of life because in that state there is pure and permanent bliss and joy. Isn't that the goal of each one of us? Of course, the mortal, perceptible world also has joy in it. But joy in our worldly life is neither pure nor permanent. If a thing is capable of giving pleasure, it is capable of giving pain, too. For instance, when a person marries, he or she does so in the hope of attaining to greater happiness and peace through raising a family and giving and receiving love.

However, life is a mix of both pleasure and pain - what gives us happiness can also give us pain. Pleasure and pain go together because the world is imperfect and man also is imperfect. Pleasure is the womb of pain. Seeking pleasure, you have already created pain.
For real and permanent happiness one needs to rise above petty desires and seek ultimate reality. There is supreme bliss and satisfaction there – an indescribable joy and peace. To seek ultimate reality does not mean you cannot fulfil your worldly duties. Even while fulfilling your duties, be a seeker of truth.

Your mortal body is only a vehicle given to you to function on this earth. But you are distinct from it. You are an immortal part of divinity. Try to become one with that limitless ocean of sat-chit-ananda. I'm a little wave, but I'm also a part of the ocean.

There's no difference between the wave and the ocean. The wave may appear separate because it has size and form. But that is momentary; the wave goes back into the ocean. The wave arises from the ocean, exists for a moment, and then goes back to the ocean.
Someone asked me recently: How many self-realised people are there? That's impossible to say, I said. For, how can one make out if a person is realised - they don't have an outward distinguishing marks! But he persisted, demanding an answer to his question - he wanted me to guess the figure. I told him that whatever the figure, I had little doubt that most of them are from India.

(Swami Chidananda is president of the Divine Life Society, Rishikesh)

The way to overcome sorrow

It can happen to anyone. Destiny can strike suddenly, changing your life forever. God has plans for everyone.

The wisdom and kindness of God is beyond our minds' reach. We can only try to understand it if we surrender totally to God and have deep faith. The way to deal with crisis and life-threatening situations is to resolve to do our best and let God do the rest...

When there is birth, there will be death, too. It is the universal law of nature, yet the human mind does not want to accept this truth. When a loved one dies, our minds become numb. We want to cling on, we refuse to let go... because of our worldly attachments and relationships.

Krishna says in Gita: "For the soul, there is neither birth nor death. Nor, having once been, does he ever cease to be. He is unborn, eternal, ever existing, undying and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain." (2:20)

I sense with deep emotion, an age-old truth that crying, a human enters this world — and on leaving, leaves behind so many in tears. The way to remember your loved ones, who have quit the race of life, is to make their loss your strength, so that it transforms into the power that makes you strive.

Death is the unwelcome visitor, and often comes unannounced. For some it is painful; for others, too sudden. There are souls waiting for death, there are souls escaping from death.

Each one is bound up in their own cycle of karma, even from previous births. So it is as important to have a dream as it is to nurture it. Life reveals its moments of truth / Destiny unveils scene by scene/ Winners are those in the race of life/ Who have the faith to follow their dream.../ God has plans for everyone/ Karma reigns powerful and supreme/ Blessed are those who listen to their hearts/ And have the passion to follow their dream.../ Many a time, you will swim against the tide/ Many a time will relationships fail/ But do not stop pursuing your dream/ Strive ahead and etch your writing on the wall.

The death of a loved one can throw you into deep depression, and can wreck you emotionally, physically, mentally. But remember, there is not a single person out there, who has not suffered this pain.

Death is universal. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is not easy; you have to however face it by holding your wits together. For yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, today is the most important of all.

Live every moment to the full... who knows when God might call? When my little son died, I was devastated. I was tempted to give in to emotions of revenge, anger, resentment and burning fury. Could this turmoil in me bring back my son alive? No.

It was difficult, but I chose to follow the path of love, kindness and good karma. Why let the loss of a loved one go in vain? Why should deep despair increase the gnawing pain? It is better to illuminate your heart and soul with memories of your shining star — and you will realise the truth, that heaven is not really that far.

There comes a turning point in everybody's life. My little son's demise has made me treat this painful loss as a stepping stone to spiritual evolvement. Breaking the emotional tie, I have removed all the worldly pictures of the cute toddler, and instead, installed the idol of Balgopal Krishna, God Almighty, in the mandir at my home, who is the object of our devotion and affection.

I prefer to think of my son as the little angel who came to bless and touch our lives forever. In honour of his memory I shall enrich my life and that of others with faith, good karma and prayer.

Perfecting the art of killing time

The stoic philosopher Seneca wrote a short manifesto in AD 49 against dawdlers, procrastinators and other 'time-killers' that seems as fresh and relevant today as it was 2,000 years ago.

He began with what in those days was a common complaint: That we are cursed with too short a life span, which often seemed to end just when we were getting ready for it.

Nor was it just the man in the street and the unthinking mass of people who groan over this, Seneca wrote. The same feeling lay behind complaints from even distinguished men and women — who undoubtedly had the affluence and the means to enjoy their leisure.

The problem, however, lay elsewhere. "It's not that we have too short a time to live, but that we waste a lot of it", he added. "Life is long enough, and sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were well invested", according to Seneca.

Even if we had 1,000 years to live, he said our life would still shrink into the merest span because our 'vice' of wasting our time and allowing others to trespass on it, would swallow up any amount of time that's given to us.

The Roman philosopher hence pre-empted Parkinson's Law that says work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. "Thus, an elderly lady of leisure can spend an entire day in writing and dispatching a postcard to her niece at Bognor Regis", wrote Mr Parkinson in his 1958 classic, Pursuit of Progress.

"An hour will be spent in finding the postcard, another for hunting the spectacles, half an hour for the search of the address and so on... the total effort that would occupy a busy man for three minutes all told in this fashion may leave another (time-killer) prostrate after a day of doubt, anxiety, and toil".

Seneca's prescription similarly pre-empts the catchline made famous by Nike: Just do it! Everyone hurries his life and suffers from a yearning for the future, and weariness for the present, he explained.

But the greatest hindrance to living was expectancy, which depends on the morrow and wastes today. You thus disposed of that which lay in the hands of Fortune, while letting go of that which was in your own.

Accordingly, he who bestows all of his time on his own needs, who plans out his every day as if it were his last, neither longs for nor fears the morrow, said the philosopher, who, incidentally, had also served as a tutor to Emperor Nero, infamous for his pyromaniac fiddling.

"Why do you delay", Seneca asks rhetorically in his essay On the Shortness of Life , "Why are you idle? Unless you seize the day, it flees. Even though you seize it, it still will flee; therefore you must vie with time's swiftness in the speed of using it, and, as from a torrent that rushes by and will not always flow, you must drink quickly".

You find the same message — postponement is the greatest waste of life — echoed in the sermon delivered by the grandsire Bhishma from his bed of arrows in the Mahabharata: "Don't wait for tomorrow", he says.

"For you never know what will happen then. Do now what you would tomorrow. That's wisdom". However, unlike Seneca, Bhishma did not downgrade the pursuit of artha, which, significantly, can be translated either as 'wealth' or 'meaning'. Arthasya purusho dasah — Man is money's slave — was Bhishma's famous exhortation.

Although he confessed to have been bound to the Kaurava king Duryodhana, Bhishma also exhorted his rival, the Pandava prince Yudhishtira, to pursue artha "always with energy and enthusiasm".

Fleeting Pleasure Enduring Pain

Let’s talk about pleasure and pain. Pleasure first, because it makes you feel good. But life’s pleasures seem so fleeting and evanescent, like glistening dewdrops that evaporate with the first hint of the warm rays of the sun.

A pleasant state of being , we instinctively feel, is intrinsically unstable. Pleasure vanishes like a transient bubble, while pain endures. What is pleasant is short-lived because the human mind quickly gets used to it, and subconsciously craves to heighten and intensify that feeling of pleasure, as it lingers in the memory and haunts the mind.

Man’s mind remembers and reconstructs a pleasurable experience and yearns to perpetuate and intensify that pleasant memory by seeking to recreate and magnify the sensation.

It is the yearning for more and more of that sensation, that feeling and that memory which causes man’s greed and avarice. It is scientifically impossible to satisfy our craving for more physical and mental possessions.

This desire for an infinitely intensifying and ever-growing pleasurable sensation is therefore self-defeating.

Lord Krishna expounds this truth in the Bhagavad Gita: "When the mind, completely transcended, rests in the Self alone, free from longing for all objects of desire, then he is said to be a Yukta , manifest in self-knowledge".

He continued, "The unsteady and the fickle, being attached to fruits through desire, are ever bound". Pleasure begins to recede as you approach it, goaded by desire. The quest for pleasure is, therefore, futile. It vanishes while pain endures.

Pain and suffering often overwhelm us, leaving us feeling utterly helpless. We feel completely at the mercy of an inexplicable and omnipotent divine force. "As flies to wanton boys are we to the Gods:/ They kill us for their sport’’ — This is how William Shakespeare poignantly articulated man’s pathetic plight as he grapples with the uncertainties of life.

He feels like a rudderless raft, adrift in the mighty and mysterious sea of life. Pain endures. It is caused by stress. It is born of tension between what is, and what you desire.

All suffering arises from the fundamental conflict between what is and what should be. When different forces pull the mind in different directions, the resulting tension between the Self and perceived reality causes disappointment and sorrow.

It is the dualism between the Self and the universe that manifests as suffering. At the root of pain and suffering is the illusory sense of abiding identity of a human being, the mirage of a distinctive Self. It is this everlasting maya of the Self that blesses pain and sorrow with eternal life.

It is a daunting challenge to transcend the vice-like grip of this selfhood. You have to lift yourself above the maya of the individual Self, the jivatma, unselfconsciously and not by a determined effort of the will.

As Fenelon explains: "Real simplicity lies in a just milieu that is equally free from thoughtlessness and affectation, in which the soul is not overwhelmed by externals, so as to be unable to reflect, nor yet given up to the endless refinements, which self-consciousness induces. That soul which looks where it is going without losing time arguing over every step, or looking back perpetually, possesses true simplicity".

Fenelon defines simplicity as ‘‘an uprightness of soul which prevents self-consciousness’’. To be really simple, you have to transcend the enduring mirage of the self without the subtlest self-adulation. This logic of the soul is as irrefutably true as it is metaphysically subtle.

As St John of the Cross explains: "The soul that is attached to anything, however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of divine union". For the good of God "can only be contained in an empty and solitary heart".

Limitless love is free of bondage

Detachment is not renunciation. It is a re-orientation of attitudes and lifestyles. It is a creative endeavour that involves a shift in consciousness. Free-flowing consciousness helps us reach a state of creative calm.

According to Sri Aurobindo , when one withdraws from the turmoil of outer life, the evolving consciousness becomes centred and observant like a detached witness or sakshi . The witness state, sakshi bhav , is a continual disassociation from worldly desires and sense-identification. It is a state of neutrality that goes beyond body and mind to communicate with the spirit.

Most techniques of self-mastery advise us not to escape from life but to live it intelligently with selflessness and detachment. We must accept responsibility for our circumstances and learn from experiences and events, and then rise above the situation. This way we can relate to circumstances without losing our balance. Then we can go through life unaffected. Being centred, yet non-attached, is an art. To correct the imbalances and disturbances in thought and behaviour, simply observe yourself objectively.

It is not necessary to be judgmental, it is enough to be objective. Be a neutral observer and notice the quality of your experience, but don’t get caught in self-criticism or self-approval. This process of self-study eventually leads to detachment.

Non-attachment is the vairagya that precedes anuraag , the flowering of divine love and bliss. To achieve the latter, sage Patanjali recommends sustained practice through elimination of emotional reactions to individuals and situations.

Involution initiates evolution. To cope with the demands of the present, we have to shed the burden of the past and chase away the demons of the future. Destressing techniques emphasise the need to bridge the gap between our real self and the projected self.

Detachment does not mean shirking responsibility or lack of sensitivity. On the contrary it is an attitude of pure love, bereft of emotional bondage. Rituals help in chitta shuddi or self-purification. They are important during spiritual infancy and must be gradually dispensed with. Obsessive observance of rituals can itself become a hindrance. Pursuing moksha must not become a bondage. In Vivekachudamani, Shankara has cautioned precisely against this.

To be detached at home and in the workplace , we must become meditative in action. Just remember the wheel. Its rapidly moving outer rim represents the restlessness of the outer world. The centre of the wheel is your internal stability that integrates and controls.

When you are overwhelmed by thoughts, emotions and events, withdraw into your centred calm. The centre can be a mantra, an awareness of breathing or any other reference point. Go through the activities of the day by being aware of the hub and not the rim. Detachment at the workplace would translate into greater focus and efficiency. Detachment at home would lead to harmonious relationships.

Remember to distinguish between entertainment and relaxation. Has life become a choice between workaholicism and a frantic search for diversions? Let relaxation be a renewal, when delicate sensibilities resurface to flourish into art, music and philosophy. On a daily basis, meditation is the best mini-vacation, when one can escape into one’s sacred inner space.

Mahatma Gandhi recommended cultivating silence as a means of detachment and renewal. Silence nourishes the spirit. Possession is limiting, detachment is liberating. In the Bhagavad Gita Krishna explains to Arjuna that with the growth of knowledge and inner purity, actions become effortless and selfless. Worthy actions performed selflessly ultimately lead to liberation ( moksha ). The individual self becomes the ultimate self.

How and why small things can shatter happiness

Who doesn't want to be happy? We all desire happiness. We pursue pleasures systematically through life — it comes as naturally to us as the sunflower turns to the sun. But, pleasure once obtained does not last; so once again, the search begins. Moreover, pleasure is ephemeral; it eludes the seeker at the final moment. One may work very hard and get all that the world considers necessary for a happy life, yet none of these things can make us really happy.
Sorrow is a fact of conditioned existence, said Buddha. It is pain and suffering that leads us towards growth. Aeschylus said: "Call no man happy till he is dead", that is, till he has carried that happiness safely to his grave.
"Accept the woes of birth" advises the Mahayana Buddhist text. One of the implications of this "acceptance" is resignation and recognition of limitations. Having tried our best to change the situation, we must then learn to resign. Contentment cannot come by looking at those who have more than we have. It comes when we try to look at those who are worse off, who are less fortunate than we are. A Christian saint said: "I cried for boots until I saw a man who had no legs." The more things we require for being happy, the greater our chances for despair and disappointment.
There are several people who do not have even the basic necessities of life and are yet happy. Happiness is a state of mind. This is easier to achieve once we learn to be less self- centred. The more egocentric we are, the more vulnerable we become; even a small thing can shatter our happiness.
At the material, intellectual and spiritual levels there is every chance of our being disappointed so long as we are egocentric. It may be something as petty as not being invited to a lunch party; or, if a colleague gets a promotion and we do not, we become unhappy; or if another person is judged kinder and nobler than we are, even then, we tend to become jealous. Statistically, there is a bell-shaped curve, tapering off, either side, showing that extreme cases are rare.
So extremely good or extremely bad people are rare. We need to cultivate mudita or sympathetic joy. If our friend or neighbour is happy, then it should fill our hearts with joy as well. Cultivate detached attachment, since everything is transient. In our happiest and saddest moments, we must remind ourselves: "This too shall pass away."
"In sensation no permanent home can be found, because change is the law of this vibratory existence. It is useless to pause and weep for a scene in a kaleidoscope which has passed," teaches the mystical book, The
Light on the Path. The ocean of life washes up to us and away again. We are so dependent on outside things and people for our happiness that if any of them are missing we feel thoroughly miserable. Above all, the question is of moulding our self-will. "The way to inward peace is in all things to conform to the plea-sure and disposition of the Divine Will."
If we want lasting happiness we must be prepared to surrender pleasures of preyas or smaller worth for pleasures of shreyas or greater worth. True happiness comes about when, even for a few moments, we forget ourselves, making it possible for us to establish contact with our higher nature, the divinity within. When we are admiring a painting or listening to a piece of music or observing the sun set, we do forget ourselves for those moments. We sometimes experience this bliss when we meditate.
We also experience this happiness when we forget ourselves in helping someone or in doing good works without any self-interest. So long as we are searching for happiness, we are bound to be unhappy. But when we cease making happiness our goal, we shall definitely experience it as a kind of by-product.

Dont be a worrier.. Savor every moment of your life

Worry causes fear, anxiety, tension and stress. These emotions deplete energy and weaken the immune system. Worriers become sick and this is manifested in poor health, because of all the problems that are eating into their vitals.

And worry is certainly not the same as constructive thinking; if it were, we would have found solutions to most of our problems.

Worry usually occurs when we find ourselves faced with a likely outcome we feel is beyond the scope of our control — an outcome we think will be wholly damaging and detrimental to us.

But how can we be so certain? Maybe some good comes out of it as well. So why despair and agonise over something that may actually turn out well, or if it does not now, it might be okay in the long term?

A king once accidentally lost his little finger in an accident. His close friend and minister, how-ever, exclaimed that it was a fine thing that had happened.

Shocked at his insensitive remark, the king dismissed him. Even then, the minister who'd just lost his job only remarked that his expulsion could be for his good. This puzzled the king.

Sometime later, the king got lost during an excursion in a jungle and was captured by cannibals. They were planning to put him in the pot over the fire when they suddenly noticed he had a finger missing.

An 'incomplete' human being was unacceptable to the gods, so they released him. The king realised that losing his finger earlier had, in fact, helped save his life.

"But tell me", asked the king of the minister after returning to the palace and reinstating him, "what good came of your expulsion? You temporarily lost your wages and prestige".

The minister replied: "If you had not expelled me, I would probably have accompanied you to the jungle and both of us would have been caught by the cannibals. You would be back here safely today, but because my body is whole, I wouldn't!"

The chain of cause and effect is extremely subtle. The slightest, invisible variation in an event could well lead to dramatic consequences in the future.

Therefore, it is almost impossible to predict what will happen in the long term, and whether it will be good or bad because we cannot know all the variables precisely.

Neither do we know how the fortunes and misfortunes of other people may forward or reverse ours — or for that matter, too, how our fortunes or misfortunes may affect those of others.

It would be sensible to look at life as a long chain of surprises and new revelations. So live it sportingly. The goal of life is not to achieve some mythical point of perfect materialism.

No such apex exists. The goal of life is simply to work hard at becoming better than you were yesterday.

In life, there are no wars to be won, only battles to be fought — personal, physical, social, psychological and spiritual. In our efforts to live life sensibly, God plays the role of the eternal comrade, the invisible companion, the universal friend.

The revered Pramukh Swami Maharaj was approached thrice by a person asking for blessings to ensure that his new business venture runs well.

Maharaj told him that blessings are given not to the individual but to the efforts of the individual. Only if you start working, the blessing will begin to take effect.

God will build a castle for you — not up in the air but within your heart, and it is you who has to lay a strong foundation for it

Path of true love

A regular at religious discourses, I’ve often found followers of one guru or faith criticising other gurus, teachers and devotees, because they think that their own philosophy is far superior. They tend to assess the learnedness or otherwise of a teacher according to the number of disciples and ashrams.

If those who profess to be spiritual seekers behave in this manner, what can we expect from lesser mortals? Why is it so difficult for us to respect the right of others to follow any teaching or teacher of their choice? No one who claims loyalty to any faith that advocates compassion, tolerance and understanding can afford to ignore these tenets.

“Few, among thousands of men and women, strive for perfection; and a few perchance, among the blessed ones striving thus, know Me in reality”, said Krishna to Arjuna in the Gita (7.3). Too many of us are pre-occupied with unearthing details of when Krishna was born and when he actually delivered the Gita. We are more interested in knowing what Jesus looked like, and whether he really got resurrected. We tend to mire ourselves in irrelevant details, and we begin to lose sight of the wood for the trees.

Few love God unconditionally. Ramakrishna would tell the story of some men who went into a mango orchard. They began counting the leaves, twigs and branches, examining their colour, comparing their size, and then proceeded to argue about who was right. The most sensible among them began eating the fruit. Similarly, a truly spiritual person is not bothered about the history or geography of God; he simply yearns for God, he is not as keen to memorise the Gita’s verses as he is to follow its teachings.

Ramakrishna Paramhansa could read neither the Ramcharitmanas nor the Gita or for that matter, any other scripture. He advised all to ‘eat the mangoes’, leaving it to the learned to pore over the details. He knew from personal experience that God could be reached via any path. He found God by following the various paths of the Hindu faith, including the Vaishnava, Shaiva and Tantric paths. He even discovered the beauty of Christ and Mohammed by learning about them. At the end of each path God was there, waiting for His beloved devotee. The only qualification needed was Pure Love.

A true devotee, no matter which faith he believes in, goes through the equivalent of a crucifixion. Jesus was crucified, Meera was tortured by her in-laws, Prahlad was terrorised by his father, Kabir was ridiculed by society, Namdeva was labelled mad by his people, Tulsidas was threatened by the upper caste and even Socrates was forced to consume poison. None was spared. The Lord demands complete surrender. He resides in our hearts. But only the pure are allowed into this sacred space, and that’s why we need the guidance of a hallowed Sadhguru.

Ramakrishna said that the heart was like God’s living room. So we need to keep it clean. Ramana Maharshi explained that to seek true Consciousness, you must concentrate on the Heart which is the seat of Consciousness or is Consciousness itself. The heart is another name for Reality, he said, and this is neither inside nor outside the body.

Loving God results in ‘rising’ rather than ‘falling’ in love. Your vision gradually begins to encompass entire humankind, all living beings and inert matter as well. You become One with That. Loving an earthly being means possessiveness, and this is restrictive. That’s why you ‘fall’ in love. Loving God, however, enables us to love all. This way, you can achieve ultimate oneness of existence or Brahman.

Training the mind to introspect

To know innate reality, the powers of the mind need to be turned back upon itself.

With concentration, the mind can access its innermost secrets, just as the darkest places reveal their secrets to the penetrating rays of light. We can then perceive the truths about the soul, whether life exists for five minutes or for eternity, and whether there is a God.

To go even beyond the mind and our present reality, we need to use the instrument of the mind itself. Sage Patanjali in his Hatha Yoga Pradipika stated: "Yoga is the cessation of the modifications of the mind".

Yoga is the practice of awareness of mind and yoga never asks what our faith or belief is. All the different steps in yoga are intended to bring us closer to the superconscious state.

Meditation techniques help us observe the truth of suffering within the nature of agitation, irritation or misery, none of which is possible without the mind's involvement. As you start observing, the cause of misery becomes clear.

Because you reacted with negativity, with craving or aversion, you are now experiencing an unpleasant sensation in the body. But as you keep observing that sensation, it loses its strength and passes away. And the negativity passes with it. This is how meditation reveals deeper truths about yourself.

Our ego has convinced us that we desperately need it (the ego). The mind is like a camera — it creates, perceives and records reality. Its depth is immeasurable, its breadth unimaginable and its energy boundless. Meditation, which takes you beyond mind, raises the question, "Who am I really?"

Many people think that meditation will make life hunky-dory and will take care of their problems of money, food or sex. It doesn't, of course. Meditation makes you more sensitive and aware. Instead of hiding the pain from you meditation will compel you to step right in the middle of it and face it. Meditation strengthens awareness; it is a direct and powerful way to engage in your own growth and evolution. And as is often the case — growth is at times painful, it hurts.

Pay attention to your breath and follow its inflow and outflow. Or chant a simple mantra and give your entire attention to the sound and meaning of the words. One can meditate at any time, but an ideal time is at sunrise. Regular practice is necessary at least once or twice, a day. Quiet surroundings are helpful; outer harmony furthers inner balance.

At home, it is helpful to create a special place for meditation. Prepare by freshening up. This dispels drowsiness and promotes a wakeful, energetic disposition. Sit with the spine straight, whether on a chair or on the floor in the lotus posture.

Begin by taking a few deep breaths , expelling all tensions in the body and concerns of the mind. Tell yourself that for the duration of the meditation, nothing else matters. Be willing to surrender your self and encounter the greater self. Don't be concerned about distracting thoughts, sensations and emotions. Neither welcome them nor repress them.

Simply let them be and persist in your practice. Sooner or later your inner world will become calm. Every session is a step towards greater inner freedom. After your session is over, review it and affirm its positive aspects.

Try to recall the inner peace created by deep meditation. Take on the discipline of not chat-ting about your meditation experiences to everyone, which would merely dissipate your energy and strengthen your ego.

Less Possessions ==> More Happiness

Possessions burden your mind and are a distraction to deep thought.

A well-to-do disciple was very fond of his frugal guru who used to live in a remote village, meditating under a tree most of the time. The guru was a free bird; he had neither family nor home.

He sustained himself by begging for alms. There were days when he even went without food, but that did not seem to bother him. He was focused on his meditation and ascetic lifestyle.

The fact that such a learned and good man had no regular livelihood — and so did not know where his next meal was coming from — bothered the disciple. After some thought he decided that he would give his guru a cow so that he would not have to depend on the charity of others for food. He would have to beg no more.

The guru, however, refused the gift saying that he was very happy with his existence. Also, since he had taken to a frugal way of life in order to direct his energies to spiritual pursuits, he would rather not get into the trap of acquiring worldly possessions. Nevertheless, after great persuasion and cajoling, he reluctantly accepted the cow. The disciple was delighted and felt that he had done a great service to his guru.

Many years passed before the disciple returned to the village to seek advice from his guru. Not finding him under the tree he inquired about his whereabouts from the villagers. They pointed at a hamlet in the distance. He went there.

Seeing the disciple, the guru rushed out from one of the huts and wailed: "Look how you have ruined my life... First the cow, then the cowgirl and the rest followed! I cannot meditate and most of my time goes in running this outfit".

Possessions burden your mind and are a distraction to deep thought. Thinking of ways on how to acquire more, the pursuit of possessions becomes an end in itself. Similarly, there is a tendency in people to amass wealth for the sake of hoarding it. It is of no use to anyone. This becomes a way of life.

Possessions and wealth are necessary for a comfortable life. However, they should serve our need, not greed. Whether it is clothing, shoes or homes, possessing more than what is required is nothing but wasteful hoarding. Amassing of wealth and possessions comes from internal insecurity of an individual. This leads to a spiral: to get more money for acquiring more goods and services, often leading to a corrupt and unsustainable lifestyle.

This insecurity can be reduced by first trying to understand ourselves. Most people are afraid of looking deep within. But a deeper understanding will give us a perspective in life and is the genesis of spirituality, it will help in the understanding of the spirit inside us.

Spirituality can also help in keeping our greed for materials and resources in check. As a person progresses on the path of spirituality his or her priorities in life change. The focus of life shifts more towards getting personal happiness through mental peace and is less on material needs and desires and hence towards sustainability. Spirituality also helps make a person internally secure and humble.

Since the desire to increase possessions and amass wealth comes from the greed impulse it should be reduced or kept in check. Removal of greed can be achieved by cultivating a spiritual outlook with the help of yoga and sanyam.

The brain has tremendous processing power and hence even a small amount of data is processed efficiently to gain useful information. This helps the mind to "get satisfied" easily so that the person can move on. Reduction and ultimately the complete removal of greed is the key to happiness and sustainability.

Power for Faith & Positive Thought

Of the three activities of thought, word and deed, perhaps thought is the most potent and powerful force, for it is the precursor of the other two.

The battle is first fought and won in the mind, says industrialist Rahul Bajaj. Success is achieved twice, once in the mind and the second time in the real world. Visualising your goals and success is an important skill for any successful leader, says Azim Premji.

No matter in whose mind thought occurs; its laser-like energy seeks a target. Thought as a potent force is well recognised since ages; that's why we give so much importance to invocation, seeking divine blessings before embarking on any project. Why is it that we exhort youngsters to take the aashirwad (blessing) of elders? We know that positive thinking is a strong force that can be harnessed for the welfare and success of all.

The importance of prayer has been emphasised by all our religious leaders. What is prayer but a thought repeated with fervour? It is a heartfelt thought. Ramakrishna Paramhansa said: If you want anything from the bottom of your heart, rest assured, my mother will answer your prayers, if you will only wait.

Prayers send powerful vibrations into the cosmos and create a magnetic field to attract the objects of our prayers. There are innumerable cases where mass prayers have worked miracles. There are a number of books including the Chicken Soup for the Soul series which relate such true incidents. Recently, Discovery channel had featured the case of a girl who was in coma for a month.

She seemed to be on the verge of death. Doctors and relatives wondered if the life-support systems should be disconnected. They decided not to lose hope. Mass prayers were offered at her school for her well-being. It was nothing less than a miracle, when the girl finally recovered. Prayers release the energy within us to achieve what we want.

We talk of the power of positive thinking as a stress buster, metta bhavna , for good health. Happy thoughts release hormones which work for our well-being and negative thoughts release hormones which make us ill. We exhort our children to think big and dream big. We tell them to hitch their wagon to a star. We tell them to keep their goals in mind. What is determination but the capacity to think the same thought again and again till we achieve what we want?

Thoughts not only have potency for the person thinking the thoughts but also, they have the power to influence people at whom they are directed. Ancient mythology is replete with stories of blessings and curses that became real. Reiki, for instance, is the art of self-healing, even distance healing.

The violent can be made calm by exuding thoughts of love and compassion. Buddha calmed the mad elephant Nalagiri and the robber Angulimala through thoughts of loving kindness. We often say that a person is known by the company he keeps. A sensitive mind easily absorbs the vibrations emanating from the thoughts of the people it associates with. Visits to holy places are considered good because the good thoughts of the holy people gathered there and the ensuing vibrations definitely affect one in a positive fashion.

Plants, trees, animals all respond to thought. Deep thought has the ability to extract knowledge and information from the higher dimensional knowledge space. The Vedas and Upanishads are said to have been revealed to deep thinkers.

The world is but a thought of God, and we are what we think. Our thoughts are unrestricted. They are absolutely free, free to travel and free to influence us — for better or for worse. Let's recognise this fact and harness positive thoughts for our well-being and betterment.

What is "Falling" in Love

It is now fashionable to ask: Why do we say "falling" in love and not "rising" in love? We "fall" in love because to love implies total surrender. Unless we surrender our ego to the object of our love, we cannot realise the power and expanse of love.

There are two basic emotions which drive this world: love and hate. All relationships are affected in some way or other by these, and so they can either help sustain or destroy the universe in which we interact with one another and the environment.

Once fully realised, love is the most powerful force that holds us together, the most vibrant of feelings which uplifts and rejuvenates humankind. Love can be for an object, animate or inanimate, or even for a higher sublime force which is inherent in us as energy, encompassed in the physical form.

To externalise the feeling of love and direct it towards an outer object, we have to first love our self, the Self which is pure, whose nature is sat-chit-ananda. Thus in loving somebody we become aware of the supreme energy within, that which liberates us and thus denotes absolute freedom to the object of our love.

The wise man, realising the virtues of true love, lets his heart speak out and in so doing seeks communion with the cosmic energy of which he is a part. I am reminded of the popular adage, if you love somebody, let him free. If he does not come back to you, he was never meant to. The body may or may not return, but the energy of which you are a part will always remain within. That is the subtle difference between physical and spiritual love.

While the former is acquired and happens due to circumstances in which we are placed, the latter is already within and grows imperceptibly as we acquire experience and awareness of our being a part of the source of love. Selfless love has been exalted down the ages; possessive love that breeds jealousy and hatred only creates obstacles in the path to self-realisation.

The story goes that Sage Narada, who believed that he could never be attached to anybody, one day met a pretty damsel by the riverside, fell in love and married her. In due course they had nine children and lived happily together. One day the river unleashed its fury and ravaged its banks, sweeping off his wife and the last child, a newborn. Grieving for his loved ones, Narada broke down and wept inconsolably, praying to Vishnu to rescue his family from distress.

The Lord appeared and told him to open his eyes. Narada became aware that all that was maya, illusion — from his meeting the maiden until the final denouement.

Physical love which flows out of attachment to a given object ends when the object itself dies. That love cannot be everlasting. We need to move beyond the perimeter of physical love and reach for the infinite if we have to sustain ourselves with the perennial flow of love.

Bhakti and Sufi saints and poets have used love as a means to self-realisation, attainment of the Absolute. They saw themselves as embodiments of love and spread the message of love and compassion to fellow-beings.

Such love becomes an ennobling experience and the person who is aware of that lives a fulfilled life. All his actions are directed towards positive channelling of energy and he thus gains fulfilment, both in physical as well as spiritual life. With the positive flow of energy rising upwards, he is able to transcend himself.

Practising the presence of God

I love the saying: "Today is the first day of the rest of your life".

The past isn't important, for, from today onward, we can change. My guru, Paramhansa Yogananda, often said, "Forget the past". The thought of past mistakes pulls us down. People also live too much in their victories. In self-pride they say, "Oh, I did this and I did that", but that's history.

The Bhagavad Gita tells us to give the results of our actions to God. I was surprised to hear Yogananda say, "God is pleased when you give him your mistakes". If you dwell on the thought, "I made a mistake", you close the door to self-improvement.

We live in an age where one could say that today's religion is science. This is good in the sense that science says, "If it's true, we have to prove it". I suggest that you test religion or spirituality scientifically within your own self. As an experiment, try for one week to think of God and talk to Him.

Try to think of God as inside yourself, and think that in everything you do, "I do this with You". Every thought that comes to you, even an ugly thought, share it with Him. Say, "God, help me. Change this idea, because I don't like it".

Resolve to think of God for five minutes every day. When you can do that, then do it for 10 minutes, and then longer. I have found it to be very inspiring, when slowly walking, to try to share every moment, every movement, thought, and sound with God.

If you hear a car horn, think, "God is making that sound". If you hear a bird singing in a tree, then think it's God who is singing. Little by little you will see that that all is divine. Life is a symphony and everyone, in one way or another, is God in that form talking to you.

Don't take interest in gossip and little things that don't touch you. Try to become more charitable and calmer. We need to put the small things behind us. The only responsibility the universe has placed on our shoulders is to change ourselves and to find Truth in our lives.

Wherever you live, try to give more of your mind and your soul to God. Don't say, "I'm not a saint: I don't have the right or the power to bless others". You must bless others. You must also meditate for others.

Those of you who feel you are small, know that you are not small: You are the greatest mystery of the universe! Each person has the ability to serve, even as the angels do, if you are conscious of God's presence, and if you want to do it.

When you're travelling on the highway or visiting the shops, consciously try to bless others. You'll see many sad faces, but try to send a blessing to those you see who are suffering, unhappy, or in need of encouragement. Send them your peace. These blessings can create a new reality.

Be a spiritual scientist. You take one or two minutes to brush your teeth and five or 10 minutes to bathe, so why not take five minutes of your day to think of God? Share with God every feeling, every thought. It may become difficult after five minutes, but little-by-little you'll see that it becomes a habit: You'll see that gradually you will be in continuous conversation with God.

God is infinite: He has many voices and He has many instruments. Each one of us needs to play his own song. In this way, God can do beautiful things through us. What God wants, finally, is to enjoy Himself in you. This is God's purpose: Give Him that chance.